Deep listening

“Deep listening is an act of surrender. We risk being changed by what we hear. When I really want to hear another person’s story, I try to leave my preconceptions at the door and draw close to their telling. I am always partially listening to the thoughts in my own head when others are speaking, so I consciously quiet my thoughts and begin to listen with my senses. Empathy is cognitive and emotional—to inhabit another person’s view of the world is to feel the world with them.

But I also know that it’s okay if I don’t feel very much for them at all. I just need to feel safe enough to stay curious.

The most critical part of listening is asking what is at stake for the other person. I try to understand what matters to them, not what I think matters. Sometimes I start to lose myself in their story. As soon as I notice feeling unmoored, I try to pull myself back into my body, like returning home. As Hannah Arendt says, ‘One trains one’s imagination to go visiting.’

When the story is done, we must return to our skin, our own worldview, and notice how we have been changed by our visit. So I ask myself, What is this story demanding of me? What will I do now that I know this?”

― Valarie Kaur

(Via)

Index

1. UNDERSTANDING THE PROBLEM

On sustainability

2. UNDERSTANDING HOW THE WORLD WORKS

On nature

On human nature

On the meaning of life and living

On culture

On morality

3. UNDERSTANDING HOW CHANGE WORKS

On the Next Level Society

On behavioral change

On marketing sustainability

4-A. FIXING HOW WE DESIGN THE WORLD

On naturalness

On naturalness in behaviour

On naturalness in art

Artworks of interest

On naturalness in architecture

Architecture of interest: naturalness

On livable architecture

Architecture of interest: livability

On naturalness in design

Design works of interest

4-B. FIXING OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OURSELVES

On well-being, self care and happiness

4-C. FIXING THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN BUSINESS AND SOCIETY

On responsible business

On Positive Design & design ethics

On privacy

Progressieve bureaus van Nederland, 2021

OTHER NOTES AND WRITINGS

On digital design, CX/UX, and technology

On the travel & hospitality industry

Miscellaneous

Other pages